While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
