That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
