I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
