Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
