y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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