Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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