Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
