I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i wish my penis had a tongue
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
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