well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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