He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
