I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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