One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
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when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
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Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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