singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
