and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
3pm strippers are depressing
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
