ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
