I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
