$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
