dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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