I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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