FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
porn star boner night. come get it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
