We need to rekindle our bromance
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
