I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
