it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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