My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
