You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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