this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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