Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
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One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
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Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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