i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
