I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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