He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Randomize
