i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
