My cat gives me a boner
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
