Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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