my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
