im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
