I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize