wake up i wanna do it froggy style
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
