I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
