Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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