Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
