I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
