I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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