one might say we're banned from that church
babies were throwing up all over the place
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
