So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
