So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
