haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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