We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
