Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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