was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
