I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Randomize
