weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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