i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
