Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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