Duck Duck Cougar?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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