Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
In other news, I just burned my penis
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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