I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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