then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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