OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My vagina is officially offended.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
