were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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