Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
