Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
