Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
