First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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