If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
