Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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