ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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