Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
