Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
