I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
