think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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